If death is pretty final, I’m collecting vinyl

I've been trying to work for the past hour, and haven't done bad, however i can't work in silence so i put on music (i sometimes try and persuade myself i can watch TV and work, but who am i kidding!?!?).

Anyhoos... I got an old 60s fidelity record player for christmas, it's AMAZING and i love it so much, so i've been starting a vinyl collection too, which is a good past time, very enjoyable so far (although yet again, another distraction - surfing the net for classic vinyl)! 

Yesterday I found Pink Floyd dark side of the moon on vinyl and bought it, so i've been giving it a listen while i work...it's INCREDIBLE, I forgot how much of an amazing album it is, and so good on vinyl, because you listen in the format it was made, no digital fading from track to track e.t.c, and you have to listen to all of it - the true mark of a great album, when you love every track and it's so much better listened to from beginning to end.

Anyways, i gotta get up every so often to change the record/change it over, which is the worst possible thing to do coz then i get distracted and put the washing on, or notice the kitchen floor needs a sweep, or whilst going to the bathroom decide the sink needs a scrub... then when i get back to work i check my emails again, or see if there's anything interesting going on on facebook...or write another piggin blog entry! lol - GAH!

Professional crastination it's a way of life if you've got lots of time...

Put it off cause tomorrow sounds much better than today...

Sunday, day of rest, at least that's what it's meant to be... but yet again I haven't even begun to do all the things i've got to do! This is really bad, considering one of them is an essay due in on Tuesday for which not only have I still to write, and research, but I have to find something to write about too...shit!

I'm such a procrastinator, i can't help it, and i worry about it, yet do nothing to help myself... today for example has gone like this:

"Right what have i got to do today?"

*list everything

"Well i'd better have breakfast first!"

*cook breakfast

"What's on TV while i'm eating breakfast?"

*turn on TV

"ooo, this looks good"

*watch show for 1hr, something good's on next

"...well it'd be a shame to miss it"

*make a cup of tea, notice the kitchen clock

"shit it's 5 o'clock and i've not done anything!"

Then i go off to check facebook and emails, blatently not helping the problem, and i'm now writing a blog entry....oh dear!

Ain't no way to hide your lying eyes

So i'm officially an awful person. I've become the person i never said i would.  Years ago my mum cheated on my alcoholic father, and as justified as that may have been i said i would never be in a relationship where the other person would go elsewhere.  I've had an ex, my first boyfriend in fact, who cheated on me so much that when it came down to it he couldn't remember who or how many....

So, my ex boyfriend and i made a conscious decision that if we wanted to go elsewhere we'd tell the other person first. Now i'm single (not through other people but through a distance issue), that's not a problem, but i've found myself in a situation with insane sexual tension between me and a guy on my course.  The problem is he has a girlfriend.

This is bad on two levels, firstly because i've met his girlfriend and she seems great, secondly is that she's more sexually inexperienced than he is (not her fault), which is only adding to his frustration which is at this the moment is being directed towards me.  I'm stuck, I honestly try to be good and to just be friends with this guy (which is how we started out) but as soon as he starts i can't help it....

Now it should be said i'm quite shy, but i've ended up being compelled to be more explicit than i've ever been with someone, especially someone i've not known for long.

What's worse is that i can't explain why, the guy's fairly attractive but to be honest nothing special, but there's something which compels me to him...really fucking strongly, and i can't help it when he starts with me. I'd also like to point out that i've not done anything more than the dirty txts, and (being honest) that photo i talked about last week....but still....it's wrong and i know it.

Everyone tells me to stop and leave him alone, every week i try, i make a decision to stop all this, but then he starts and i can't stop....i'm in trouble and i don't know what the hell to do about it!

Is it because it's wrong, is it because i can't have him? This feeling has been there for a while, since before the girlfriend when i didn't do anything about it - going back again to me being shy...but it's been getting worse, is it because of the encouragement? is it because i know i can't? or is it because deep down there's some kinda Freudian thing about emulating your mothers!?!

I like you so much better when you're naked; I like me so much better when you're naked

So, what's a good trade for some naughty pics then? 

It's so much easier for a guy - pic of the girl will do nicely, but i'm afraid it's just not the same for us girls...unless they have a body that rivals someone like Michael Phelps!! 

Not that i'm saying that's the only type of guy that stands a chance, but in sending photos stakes looking at a guy's photo just isn't the same, fair enough if they get all their kit off...but then...well let's not kid here - i'm having the dilemma right now...and i don't know the guy well enough to take all my kit off and send him a photo....underwear is about right but i just ain't gonna get the same kick from seeing him in his boxers (unless i'm in the room at the time)! Eugh i need a trade off, but i've got a proper mind blank....

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder, where it's so white as snow

So the snow we've had over the last couple of days is apparently pretty special - the worst we've had in years, hell the buses in London were suspended which didn't even happen in the Blitz!!

Snow is awesome, it covers over everything - the good, the bad, the ugly - it's like giving us a clean canvas, temporary though it may be....

A couple of years ago when i was living in Newcastle it snowed...not as much as it did this time but nevertheless enough for an attempt at a snowman - the official marker of whether it's 'good snow' or the icy 'bad snow' and whether it's a decent amount. Anyways, I took one of my favourite photos that day, of a skate park half covered in snow, i love the contrast between the graffiti and the 'clean canvas' that the snow provides....

Someday I think i'll get it blown up onto canvas, it was taken on my SLR so the quality's there for it to be made bigger no problem, there's just something about it that draws me in.

Stop rushin' me, Rushin' me let me finish talkin'

Why must life always be so rushed? The western world is so consumer based and everything is designed to be here and now. These last months in London have seen me being sucked in by the whole thing...rush, rush, rush!!

Before I knew it I was so busy - I was one of the people rushing! It was all about getting to where I was going as quickly as I could because I had to.  Getting annoyed by slow walking people, those with luggage on the tube, old people doddering around and getting in the way....But then one day I found myself subconsciously planning every second of my journey to the friggin shops! Rushing had become such a habit that it was hard to stop.

So, I get to thinking, what am i missing with all the rushing? Not to mention the fact that rushing makes you tiered so when you're not rushing you can't be arsed to do anything but sit on your arse!  I'm so scared i'll wake up one day and the world will have passed me by because i've been caught up in this relentless rush...eep!